The Justin-Mila gropefest that tore open the envelope
The MTV Movie Awards alway try to push the envelope, whether it’s having Sacha Baron Cohen fly across the audience and swoop down, bare bottomed, on Eminem’s face or an unexpected girl-on-girl kiss, like the one between Sandra Bullock and Scarlett Johansson last year.
This year’s edition tore the envelope wide open early on, when Justin Timberlake grabbed Mila Kunis’s breasts and she in turn groped his crotch and held on as they presented the award for Best Male Performance. “It was a shameless reference to my penis,” Timberlake said as Robert Pattinson rose to accept the award.
As host Jason Sudeikis predicted in his opening monologue, MTV did in fact stand for “More Twilight Victories.”
Pattinson spent nearly as much time on stage as he did in his seat, co-presenting the Generation Award to Reese Witherspoon as her costar in “Water for Elephants,” introducing a preview of the next Twilight movie, “Breaking Dawn,” and with last year’s installment of the vampire saga, “Eclipse,” taking the popcorn trophies for Best Movie, Best Fight and Best Kiss between him and costar Kristen Stewart, who took home the Best Female Performance prize.
As the audience screamed for the couple to kiss again, Pattinson pulled a crowd-pleasing surprise– running into the audience and showing his support for Team Jacob as he smooched competitor and fellow heartthrob Taylor Lautner.
Credit Adrien Brody passionately lip-smashing Halle Berry on the Academy Awards eight years ago for starting the kudocast smooching trend, which, although it has become entirely predictable–whether opposite sex or same-sex– shows no signs of abating.
Produced by reality king Mark Burnett, the telecast had a few low points—the “Fast Five” sketch warning against texting while illegal street racing fell flat, as did the lack of a mention of the writer of the Best Movie Line “I want to get chocolate-wasted” from “Grown Ups”—but there were lots of highlights, many of them raunchy, including:
- The show open, which featured Sudeikis hunting for Lautner after Justin Bartha convince them to go for drinks the night before the awards and making its way through a spoof of “The Hangover ” with clips from “Black Swan,” “127 Hours,” “The Social Network,” and of course, “Twilight” integrated along the way.
- Jim Carrey appearing in a chromakey green suit with images of two dogs fornicating to introduce the Foo Fighters, who gave a bang-up performance of “Walk,” featured in the film “Thor.”
- Justin Bieber showing up to claim the trophy for best jaw-dropping moment from his concert film “Never Say Never.”
- Pattinson telling costar Bryce Dallas Howard about their fight, “I ripped your head off, and now you’re pregnant.”
- Reese Witherspoon, saying she was trying to make it cool again to be a good girl and that you didn’t have to have a reality show or a sex tape to make it in Hollywood.
- Pattinson revealing that he was cut out of the film “Vanity Fair” as Witherspoon’s son and that it was her fault, but saying he “blanked” her as her lover in “Water for Elephants,” concluded that “it’s not always bad to have sexual chemistry with your mother.”
- Some of Sudeikis’s jokes about Schwarzenegger’s illegitimate kids (although not the one involving Maria Shriver) and parts of his turn at the piano singing movie theme songs he wrote.
- The fluorescent green “laser boners” that came up and went down again as the award for Best Kiss was presented.
- Gary Busey’s on stage entrance in a Lady Gaga-like clear plastic bubble to present Best Movie
With “Eclipse” taking home five of the 12 viewer voted-upon prizes, it’s up to the wizards of final installment of “Harry Potter” next year to knock the vampires and werewolves off their thrones. It’ll be a fight to the finish.
