atkinreport.com

Dial “T” for transport theft. Kevin Bacon gets jacked in a subway station. A brazen thief came up to him while he was waiting for a train at a 53rd and 7th Ave. stop, and ripped off his Blackberry, presumably replete with numbers for wife Kyra Sedgwick and many others from whom he’s separated by only six degrees. All in broad daylight, well, during the day, in the dank lighting of the underground station, where Bacon gave chase but lost his assailant in the crowd. I hadn’t been on the subway since my last NY visit in January, and was wondering last week, while playing Ms. Public Transportation, why the automated subway announcer even warned passengers not to take out electronic devices,  and this was before the Bacon heist. OK, I get it now. I’ll still ride ‘em, but I’ll hide ‘em.

It was the big question on the first day of TV upfronts: would Kiefer Sutherland show up at Fox’s big kickoff to the week? Not only did the 24 star take center stage at the presentation, he punched through any illusions of regret about his latest run-in with the law, after a bit of a tease. Saying that this could be one of his last chances to talk to the crowd of advertisers and media buyers (going to jail? scheduled end date?), Sutherland said 24 was the best experience of his career–and his life–crowing about the multiple marriages and births among cast and crew during the show’s run. Then, he said he wanted to wrap things up quickly so everyone could get to the afterparty (although there was much more to come with Peter Rice and Kevin Reilly).

“I’ll meet you at the bar,” he said. “I’ll be looking for you.”

A crowd-pleaser, that one. And a great party…

Stop the presses! Miss California gets to keep her crown. Now get we get Carrie Prejean off the stage, please? I’m kind of sick of this Sarah Palin in-the-making. On the other hand, I have to admire the tons of free publicity she’s achieved–for herself and for the beauty pageant, a rather icky relick of a bygone era. Funny how Donald Trump took about five days to “decide,” milking this thing for all it was worth. Brilliant PR. He tread all over the Miss Cali people–and why were they paying for contestants to get boob jobs? That’s sick. Shanna Moakler, not exactly a paragon of pageant primness, has resigned over the squabble. The whole thing is rather amusing, but….enough already.

Just when you thought Saturday Night Live had peaked after Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s spot-on impersonations of Sarah Palin and HRC, along comes Justin Timberlake hosting again–and getting his sexy on with Andy Samberg for Mother’s Day:

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/digital-short-motherlover/1099491/

While the tune might not be as catchy as DIAB, you gotta hand it to Susan Sarandon and Patricia Clarkson for playing MILFs to the boys in this crazy-funny video spoof.

But naughty Justin: he outed Britney’s supposed virginity by saying in another SNL skit that he “hit that” while they were dating. It’s called f-ing and telling.

Dodgertown now knows what Beantown was bitching about. All that bad behavior=’roid rage. With the news that Manny Ramirez has been suspended for 50 games, until July 3, a lot fewer people will be streaming through the gates at Chavez Ravine, and that’s got to be very troubling for the powers to be, who are probably thinking up new marketing plans right about now.  They’ve already taken down the Mannywood sign in the left field seat.

Manny said he didn’t take steroids, that his doctor gave him medication for ??????? Yet he tested positive for a female fertility hormone, HCG, that’s used to take the edge off going off steroids by keeping testosterone levels up. Now, 6 of baseball’s top 17 homerun hitters have come under the drug cloud of suspicion. And they used to call OJ “The Juice.”