atkinreport.com

As we used to say in the news business, “You can’t make this shit up.” Just days after John McCain shocked the nation with his choice of veep running mate–that sly old dog–it’s revaled that Alaska governor Sarah Palin’s 17-year old daughter, Jamie Lynn Spears, or Bristol, is pregs by some guy named Levi. As an advocate of abstinence over sex education, guv’s girl obviously wasn’t listening to mommy. And the net is abuzz with rumors that the 5-month old youngest Palin child is really the girl’s, that Sarah was covering for her by faking her pregnancy, that she went out of her way to have the kid in some backwoods Alaskan hospital where there isn’t even a record of it. I’m betting lots of money that whereever the truth lies, this decision is going to come back and bit McCain in the ass.

Poor Michelle Obama. She’s been painted by the right as an unpatriotic, angry black woman, but she held up under scrutiny during her 15-minute speech at opening night of the DNC in Denver, looking picture-perfect in everything from her hair to her shoes.  But Jon Stewart was right about the kids: they needed to zip it a bit.  Sure to be an embarassing, yet cute, moment for them later on in life.  Unscripted? Who knows…

But Michelle looked none too happy during Hillary Clinton’s speech the next night. In every single camera cutaway–and there were many–she was technically smiling but looked more like she was gritting her teeth.  And the eyes….those angry eyes….

No reason for all the tension: her man won, fair and square.

Some people know how to throw a party; some don’t. A surefire sign of the later: when you end up drunk, ordering at the takeout window at Taco Bell because you’ve been drinking for hours with no food to soak it up.

Such was NOT the case at a FANTABULOUS bash to celebrate the launch of the Tony Hawk Sidekick for T-Mobile. Taking over an empty building in the heart of Hollywood (the place used to be KCBS Channel 2 and KNX) and decorating it in skateboard chic was genius. And how killer was having the Stone Temple Pilots play for more than an hour? Scott Weiland progressively lost pieces of clothing as he rammed through the set. Outside, a half pipe, and and and: an In-N-Out Truck, a Hot Dog on a Stick truck and a Taco Nazo truck. Fast food paradise on asphalt. Party went right up to the rim of 2 a.m.

On the flip side, an event held by Genlux Catalog, I mean, magazine, at the W pool in Westwood. Billed from 6-9, cocktail and dinner hour in the rest of LA, they supplied not one morsel of an appetizer and sported 20-minute, no fun lines at the bar. Wait, think there was one tray of cheesecake balls on a stick. Being outside by the pool on a warm summer night is nothing to complain about. Everything else was.

I’m strangely fascinated by the case of the woman stabbed to death in a Century City parking garage after meeting with her lawyer in a nasty divorce with millions of dollars at stake. They say that stabbing someone to death is the most rageful of murders–you have to get thisclose–and the vast majority of women killed are knocked off by their husbands, exes or boyfriends. So why was it that a doctor who tried to help the poor woman, Pamela Goudie Fayed, was arrested at the scene (and later released) and the husband was left to walk around free for weeks—until it came to light that the rental SUV used as the getaway car in the brutal attack was rented with his credit card. Great police work! Don’t they have security cameras or parking lot attendants in that garage? The sleazebag ex-husband was up on federal charges pertaining to what looks like a Ponzi scheme business he ran–a gold bullion business, and I bet there’s no bars there–and the judge wouldn’t grant bail. Coincidentally, Ms. Fayed just happened to be killed on the eve of a court hearing into how to divide up proceeds from the business.

For the sold-out crowd at the Hollywood Bowl, it was a flashback to the days of the Supremes some 40 years ago. Unlike veterans who play the Bowl frequently (Tony Bennett, anyone?) Diana Ross–the early 60s diva who paved the way for Mariah, Beyonce, Xtina–has kept herself pretty scarce. And that’s what made her performance so special, in addition to no less than SIX glittery costume changes. With a pair of powerful backup singers that made up for some of her loss of voice and a tight band, Ross rode through golden oldies like Touch Me in the Morning,  You Can’t Hurry Love, More Today than Yesterday, I Will Survive and my personal favorite, Ain’t No Mountain High Enough. Visions of Beyonce in Dreamgirls made their way through my consciousness. The thrilling performance begged the question of why she’s not doing long-term Vegas gigs like Cher and Bette Midler…